Just Because it Didn’t Work Out Doesn’t Mean you Failed

It's hard to admit that things don’t always go our way. We become helpless as we do everything humanly possible to grasp at our now mourned past. We mourn the life that we wanted for ourselves as we become thrusted into our new reality. 

It's the pit in our stomach, the itch that can’t be scratched, the little voice echoing in the back of our mind. Ultimately, we aren’t satisfied. We continue to question ourselves and what could have been. Obviously, things don't always go as planned in life. We are hit with the unexpected at every turn, and it's hard to find our footing.  

I like to believe that everything happens for a reason. That every person and moment in our life can be viewed and compartmentalized into two categories; lessons and experiences. Even the most mundane scenarios have an impact and can alter the way we view life.

First, allow yourself to mourn. We need to take time to mourn the expectations that we had placed on ourselves. It's okay to be sad over what could have been and reflect on how life shaped out. However, this mourning period becomes dangerous when we dwell on the past for too long and not allow ourselves to grow. We can mourn the life we wanted but also detach ourselves from it. Mentally remove ourselves as we accept the good that life has in store. 

Rejection is Redirection. 

Often, the things that don’t go planned in life are the ones that shape us the most. I always revert back to instances in my life where I didn’t get what I wanted. Of course, I was upset. I was resentful. I was disappointed. However, almost every time I didn’t get what I wanted, there was always something better in store. 

Life has a way of directing us from the things that could harm us and lead us to the things we are meant to accept. 

Life has a way of manifesting what we need versus what we want. 

Often what we want is rooted in the boundaries that we place ourselves in, when in reality we can achieve so much more than what we think we can. This is because we are in our head, inherently we are trapped in how we perceive ourselves. It's like the idea that we are our hardest critics. We are trapped in the ideas that consume us, we are overwhelmed by the need to analyze everything that we do. We view others with a softer lens, we are able to see the intentions behind those we love. When those that are close to us mess up, we encourage them to continue to fight. When it comes to us, we aren’t able to take off the filter we have put on ourselves. Even when we know we tried our best, we still don’t see the picture in full frame. 

Zoom out

When we adjust our perspective on how we view our life, we are able to see the full picture. Often when I am anxious it's when my perspective is too narrow. 

When I really think about it, when I'm anxious I'm only worrying about myself and my actions. Now, it's not selfish to put yourself first, but it can drain you mentally. When you view your life as only a result of your actions, you will overanalyze those actions and blame yourself for the things that don’t go right in life. When in reality it's more productive and easier on the mind, to back up. 

Look at yourself as if you were above watching. 

The mundane things that stress us out no longer hold significance. They have no hold, virtually no power.  We can see that the interactions we have with others are intertwined and connected. We are able to see the entire network that we are part of, the lives that we have impacted. In a way, it demonstrates that we are part of a bigger picture. It's not just about us. 

Finding Your Footing 

So, my fellow creatives, I urge you to reexamine those instances in your life where you were redirected in an unexpected way. The things that we want in life sometimes aren’t meant for us to experience. The harsh reality is that even if we work hard towards something, we aren’t guaranteed the outcome we want. 

Unfortunately, life does not owe us anything. But just because things have ended, experiences don’t go as expected, doesn’t mean that we failed. Instead we can learn from those experiences and better ourselves. We add more badges and keep pushing. 

I know it can be difficult to switch our mindset when it comes to these things in life, but ultimately our mind holds so much more power than we let it. If we condition ourselves to adapt and live with an open mind, ideally nothing that goes unexpected can harm us. At least to the capacity that it will force us off track. 

Look, as I am writing this, I don’t know all the answers, but I like to keep a positive attitude towards certain things in life. I’ve learned that our thoughts are the prophet of our future. The way we react to things in life holds power and has the ability to shape any experience into what it needs to be for us.

I want us to try to live life and understand that just because things don’t work out doesn’t mean it's a failure because, life is an ongoing process.

So, all we can do is take it day by day. And when it gets too hectic, hour by hour, even minute by minute. Make those adjustments, and do everything you need to do so that you can conquer the day that you are given.

Let me know what you think about my perspective on these topics! And if you have some extra time leave a review here.